Amnesia and Romance

Today, the Koala insisted on being carried the entire time. She gave us breaks long enough to get feeling back in our arms.

M went for a run with the dog this morning. I spent two hours standing in the kitchen with the Koala on my arm, trying to feed her breakfast. She had two bites of cantaloupe. M had better luck. By the time I left for work, I was exhausted and work reinvigorated me.

I got back in the afternoon to see M destroyed. She had war stories, most of them would qualify for some kind of global military intervention.

The Koala woke up from her nap upset as usual. We all got in the car and drove M to her car sharing mini-cooper convertible. She took the dog and left for school. I had adventure envy. I drove the Koala back home. I heard some complaints from the back seat.

Back at home. the Koala wouldn't let me put her down or change her diaper. I finally pinned her down and changed her. We went to the post office and had a coffee date. She's Big Koala On Campus in the village. Waves, smiles and winks a lot.

The village at 4 pm, we both found out is an epicenter of multigenerational douchery. The Gant-clad elementary school children all ooze out like pus from the school next to our house and congregate at the gelato place as well as the italian coffee place to out douche each other in ways only rich little yacht rats can. You can imagine the parents and all of the other dilapidated pre-iron age people aren't any better.

The Koala and I took it all in very quietly. I had coffee and a spritzkuchen. The Koala had three bites of a laugenstange.

When we got home, we got a text from M: Do you want to meet at the studio? I'll be there in 10 minutes.

We got there an hour later.

I fired up the leaving the house machine, got all the shit together that we needed, wrestled the baby into a new diaper, took her under my arm to the grocery store across the street for a couple water bottles and stuffed us in the car. We got stuck in construction traffic. The Koala was restless and managed to half free herself from the car seat and got stuck in an awkward position. I figured out how to right her by reaching back with my shifting arm, yanking on her collar and letting her body settle the rest, but not without some guttural yelling.

This happened twice.

M and I are able to carry on with life because of amnesia and romance.

We forget that everything comes with loud insistent banging pleading crying melting. We forget that when we say, "how about Chinese food," we are really saying, "Do you want to bring our one man band to the Chinese restaurant? I hear he added a new tuba to the mix."

And because we forget what the reality looks and feels like, we romanticize the mundane events in our life, such as having breakfast in peace.

Or painting in the studio.

The minute we arrived, the Koala became focused solely on ripping away M's top and getting to the breasts. She squirmed and kicked as she nursed. When done, she went off to draw on her own. She came back two minutes later.

Repeated the cycle.

Ad infinitum.

M was not able to paint. The Koala grabbed at her legs and tugged at her clothes. I painted a little bit, but a lot of my time was spent refereeing and trying in vain to feed the Koala solid foods. We gave up after a while, packed up and then she took a shit in her diapers. Even with teamwork, it resulted in demonic torture sounds.

We stopped at Burger King and ordered at the drive thru to eat in the parking lot. Here, we romanticized the fast food parking lot. I released the Koala from the child seat. She crawled out of the back seat and insisted on climbing into the driver's seat to get to Maxi's breasts. She was loud. She was ornery. She was not to be stopped. We closed up shop and continued home.

Once parked, Maxi took the dog for a walk and I took the Koala and all of our things up. The Koala wailed at this arrangement. Wailed when we got in. Calmed down a bit when she saw the rest of my burger. She had a few bites. I began to get her ready for bed and she started wailing. She wouldn't let me touch her or leave her.

I sat in the bathroom and she slammed the door on me, then opened it wailing louder, closed it, opened it wailing, closed it, opened it. I prayed.

"My human child is having a human experience that is confusing to her and to me, please help me that no one gets hurt."

I managed to change her and bathe her without injury to anyone. She ran around the house naked and screaming. I put on this video and it calmed her down. Then M came home and she started wailing again. Eventually, I got her to watch the video again, she calmed down long enough for M to center herself.

M took her to bed. She was all smiles, waves and good night kisses.

M came out a few minutes later. Eyes full of tears. We hugged in the kitchen.

Tomorrow couldn't happen for us if it weren't for amnesia and romance.