We went over to friends' for breakfast on Sunday, 2 of us came home with a free batch of stomach flu.
It kicked in for M and the Koala last night around 11pm. Heavin' and a sprayin' and it was awful for everyone. Just as I'd start to drift off, I'd hear the Exorcist and run to the bathroom as a barf buddy. I got kicked out most of the time. The Koala was surprisingly chill about her ailments and downright charming. She would just quietly upchuck and then blithely point at her latest creation. During one episode of M doing child's pose at the base of the toilet, the Koala stirred and I had to get her out of bed. The bed seemed drenched in vomit and electrolyte solution. I didn't ask. I just washed my feet afterward. They both eventually settled into bed around 3am and I retired to the other room as last man standing, trying to keep it that way, but all the while feeling the cramping and vomiting coming on. I didn't sleep much as I entertained horror fantasies of being out for a week tossing chunks and shitting liquid. I soothed myself with the hope that it would finally eliminate my baby fat.
I woke up at 6am without incident, got in a super hot bath in hopes of boiling away any of the cartoon germs in my GI tract. I got dressed, got some bleach, vinegar and bathroom cleaner and made the bathroom into a cleanroom environment. Kitchen as well. Loaded up on coffee, fed the dog, took the dog for a walk and poo to come back to the find the bathroom occupied once again. Everyone was dead in the eyes and spirit except the Koala. I got supplies ready. BART. Broth, applesauce, rice, toast. Left for work.
I came back in the afternoon to find M and the Koala snuggled together in bed just chilling. It looked as though the Koala was actually enjoying it. And magically, she used this as an opportunity to let us know when she needed to go the toilet by patting her diaper and she happily did her business.
Things seemed to stabilize for them as the day went on, but my allergies kicked into overdrive to the point that it felt as though someone were lancing my brain through my left nostril. Tears and snot dripped out of my face. I couldn't see straight, my nasal passages shut down and my ears rang. I took an antihistamine which was a siren song that beckoned me to deep sleep, so I took some ibuprofen, had three cups of coffee and fritz cola.
M needed to sleep by herself.
I laid on the couch watching TV with the Koala and I think I must have blacked out because next thing I knew, an hour had passed and I had no memory of it. I'm just glad that the Koala didn't get online and join ISIS during my blackout.
I was a mouth breathing zombie throughout the day. It was nice to just hang out and have ramen with the Koala.
I can't remember much of the day.
There was a lot of BART for everyone. I vacuumed and sanitized the bathroom and kitchen. Did laundry. Answered dumb work emails. All in a painfully pilly daze.
M put the Koala to sleep around 6 pm then she and I huddled on the kitchen floor.
The kitchen is a mess again. I still haven't gone out with the dog, nor fed her. I'm in my robe.
Getting dressed and going out into the freezing rain, grateful that I dodged another day of stomach flu.
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